Ok, I have a dilemma. Nicolas is driving me crazy, and I am at a loss of words and what to do about it. He has never been a great athlete. Always had problems throwing a ball, and most likely will never want to get involved in team sports, which is perfectly fine with me. We tried to force him to play baseball, but all he did was cry, and we finally removed him from the team. Soccer…..on the other hand, was his idea. He wanted to play. He wanted to play with his friends. After asking him over and over again, I finally signed him up, bought all the gear, and even managed to get him on a team with his best friend.
Now all he does is stand there. Everyone of his teammates – ages 4-6 – runs and kicks the ball, but Nicolas just stands there. I have no patience for this. I try so hard to motivate him, but he just does not move. When I ask him whether he would prefer quitting the team, he says no, but he will not engage. The coach calls out his name at least 20 times during a game, but still Nicolas does not engage. I threaten to take him off the team, and still he does not engage. How do I motivate this child? He is like this with everything. I know I am supposed to praise him, but seriously, should I praise him for lifting his socks fifty times, or pulling on his tongue? What is a mother to do? Dad is not here, and I dread watching him. I know that by the end of the evening I will be disappointed. If he left the team, he would be replaced by someone who really wants to play, and be a part of the team. I am embarressed by his behavior, and I think it would benefit everyone involved if we quit, but do I really want to teach my son that quitting is what you should do if you don’t try harder?
I cannot think of anything that would motivate him more then the threat to not see his buddies three times a week, but he has no comment. When I ask him why he does not engage, he says nothing. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! We are such opposites in this regard, that I am absolutely clueless as what to do.